“It doesn’t matter how slowly you go, so long as you don't stop”

Hello all :)

I thought I would just do a quick update because I promised myself I would blog at least once a week and so far it is not going as planned.

As you know I am trying to recover from my Eating Disorder but it is not an easy process. I have to deal with a lot of emotions and suppressed memories in order to get down to the root cause of my Eating Disorder. I'm currently in therapy and I am expected to talk a lot about my problems and I hate talking to strangers so it's not going so well. So I am considering going in-patient at St. Paul's Hospital for 3 weeks into their Eating Disorder Clinic. This idea was brought up by my counselor and I'm not really sure if I really want to spend three weeks in the hospital. However, it would be beneficial to me as it would medically stabilize me and help me with those "eating disorder" thoughts. Again this is just a maybe.

On a brighter note tomorrow I am moving to a basement suite of my own! Eventually I will get a roommate but for now it is all mine :) I want to send out a big thank you to all of you who have helped me get things for my place (You know who you are). It is greatly appreciated!!!!

Stay Strong <3

"Fall down seven times, stand up eight'

Hello, Hello, 

So I realize that I haven't done an entry in a really long time so I thought that now would be a good time. So I thought as far as updating goes I would talk about my eating disorder. Because of recent photo's on facebook with a friend about my Eating Disorder (a recovery photo) it's kind of out there that I have one. Which is totally fine. I also wanted to write this because lately I've had quite a few people judging me and treating me quite badly because they do not understand the concept of an eating disorder and the issues and struggles around it.

An Eating disorder is quite isolating and I'm going to post a message from a friend that understand what I'm going on and is very supportive. The words below (in purple) describe quite nicely how isolating an Eating Disorder can be. This is where people don't understand what is happening and start to judge you. I have had this done personally and it doesn't help your Eating Disorder. But lucky for me I have amazing friends that support me in all aspects of my life.

"You stress easily, and when that happens you kind of close yourself off from people, making it seem like you're moody. Or if you have something on your mind then you don't talk about it to most people, so it just builds up." 

This is how I describe my Eating Disorder: 

My eating disorder did not start with my body image. It started as a place to store the emotions I didn't want to deal with. Somehow I have always found something self destructive to store my emotions into (self-harm, the eating disorder, shutting down/off from the world, etc). The depression will have its ups and downs, as will my eating. So I guess I can only describe my eating disorder as the storage space for my unwanted emotions. I leave them there and deal with the fines I have to pay (physical health effects) until I lose the space and have to deal with the emotions or they have been thrown away.

I will update in a week or so :) To all those out there that struggle with an Eating Disorder, Stay Strong <3